Okay so let’s just get this straight, I’m not going to give you the typical list of have a bath, listen to music, pet a dog etc. As much as these things might cheer you up, they won’t help you become a more relaxed in the long run.
These are my top 10 tips for being a more relaxed person and leading a more relaxed life. They have helped me heaps on my happiness journey and hopefully they can help you too. It’s so important to be your best self, here’s how I do it.
- Wake up happy. It’s so important to start your day in the right mindframe. If you wake up thinking to yourself, I’m tired or I can’t be bothered, your already setting yourself up for a bad mood. Think positive thoughts from the moment you wake up, tell yourself your going to have a good day. Think about something you enjoy in the morning, be it your morning coffee or a hot shower, if you give yourself something to look forward you already have that positive frame of mind.
- Journal/Plan your day. This is such an easy way to make your day go smoothly, resulting in a more relaxed you! If journaling isn’t your thing, a simple to do list is just as good. I like to plan my chores for the whole week, but day to day might work better for you. I find I have so much more time if I do this, before I could spend half an hour sitting on the sofa thinking I should do the ironing when I could have been half way through it already! When you have so much to do and no plan, it can be totally overwhelming causing unnecessary stress. It’s also helpful for planning days out or scheduling your time.
- Evaluate. One of my top tips is to evaluate situations throughout the day. This is great at helping you become a more relaxed person. Be grateful for the things making you happy and try to understand what is making you stressed or upset. When you see yourself getting angry or annoyed ask yourself, why? Is it really that bad? Will it matter tomorrow? Often we get ourselves worked up for next to no reason. You have to be mindful if you want to live a relaxed life.
- Give yourself a break. We all stumble sometimes. We all have bad days but we need to accept that it isn’t possible to be happy 100% of the time, we have feelings and that is not a bad thing. When you find yourself failing, don’t beat yourself up. Take it easy on yourself, if your hard on yourself this will just escalate your negative feelings. It’s okay not to be perfect, nobody is!
- Let it go. Don’t hold on to negative feelings for too long. Most of us spend a lot of time complaining, about your work colleague, the rude boy in the coffee shop, the look that woman gave you in the car park, etc. These things are so minor, think about it, you probably dont even care. Yet you replay the situation when you complain to your friend at work or you partner when you get home. If you want to be more relaxed you need to dismiss these thoughts, let them go. Don’t hold grudges, don’t judge people and don’t complain, it will make you a better person.
- Breathe. Give yourself a few minutes in the day to breathe and relax. Switch off for just a couple of minutes and recharge. This is super helpful for keeping peaceful. All you need to do is sit in a quiet room and breathe, or if you can’t do that (hello kids!) switch off and enjoy a cup of coffee or take yourself into an empty room for a minute. You can do this a couple of times a day or whenever you start to feel stressed.
- Single task. How can you be relaxed if your not even focusing on what you are doing? Be mindful in your actions, don’t pick up your phone whilst feeding your toddler or do the washing whilst helping with homework. Single task and enjoy every moment. Pay attention to what you are doing and how it makes you feel. It actually improves your focus and helps you enjoy your time more.
- Look after yourself. Your health is important, mind and body. Make sure you drink enough water and eat well. Your health has a big impact on how you feel (hence the word ‘hangry’). If you don’t look after your body you will feel rubbish, which in turn makes it harder to be more relaxed. Hydration and healthy food can work wonders for the mind.
- Be yourself. You can’t be relaxed if your trying to be someone your not. Stop trying to impress others and be yourself, no matter who you are. You need to accept yourself. It’s hard work to keep up a false appearance and let’s be honest, a true friend will like you for yourself. So love your quirks and don’t ever be embarrassed to be who you are!
- Patience. If you want to be truly relaxed you have to learn to be patient. Take your time and don’t rush your day. This goes hand in hand with single tasking, learn to slow down and enjoy what you are doing. Pay attention to your surroundings, take in the world and be grateful. Be patient with others and yourself.