Mental Health Mama

Mental health. It’s something that – due to social media – is being talked about more and more these days. Which is a good thing. We need to talk and we need to share so that we don’t feel so alone. So here’s my story…

I spoke a little bit about my anxiety in a previous blog post so in going to focus on depression. I suffered a really bad case of depression in my teenage years, I needed meds for a while and eventually turned myself around. Up until now I’ve managed to stay positive, sometimes my mood can be a little up and down but I generally notice when I’m feeling low and know to take time out and work on trying to bring myself back round again. It can be hard when you feel yourself slipping, especially when you have children as you still have to jump out of bed everyday with a smile on your face when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and hide. See though I may seem okay on the outside, that’s not always the case. You get better at hiding it. I work a full time job which is customer focused so I’m pretty good at slapping a smile on my face when I have to. Normally I make do pretending until I’m out of my bad spell but just recently it’s taken longer and longer to do so. It doesn’t mean I’m unhappy. I love my life, I am grateful for everything I have but sometimes life can get overwhelming and you just can’t shake it off. I’ve had to deal with alot of acceptance recently, acceptance of my anxiety, my chronic pain and finally my depression. That was hard enough on it’s own but then you add in the mum guilt. Not feeling good enough and feeling down because you can’t do the ‘normal’ things other parents can. There’s no surprise we sometimes struggle. As much as I’ve thought about reaching out my social anxiety fights harder. I’m too scared, I don’t feel like I need it enough, other people are worse off. But recently at an appointment for my pain management I broke down and shared all with the doctor. Yes I felt embarrassed but I’m so glad I did so. I’m now on medication – by choice – and also have an appointment for therapy. It’s something I’ve always wanted but couldn’t ask for.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is let’s keep talking about it. Let’s keep sharing our stories in hope to help others. If we help people feel not so alone, fantastic. If we help people reach out, even better. I also want you to know that you are worthy. No matter what stage you’re at. Just because it’s mild doesn’t mean you don’t need support. We all need support and we all deserve it. Reach out – friends, family, support groups, me (and I mean that). You are strong, you are capable, you CAN get better.

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